Monday, February 28, 2005

SuperBowl Sunday

Okay, the Oscars have come and gone. I didn't watch. But the hoopla reminded me of Superbowl Sunday, and that got me to thinking about Sunday, and that got me to thinking about preachers, and that got me to ... oh, hell.
Dr. Kennedy
You know, I wonder when James Dobson is actually going to watch a few of his friends on televison.

During the Superbowl, Bravo ran a Queer Eye marathon, which was pretty boring -- after all, when you've seen one lumpy-assed straight boy cleaned up enough so that his girfriend won't barf at the wedding, you've pretty much seen them all.

So I clicked around, and it being Sunday, I managed to see a good sampling of the televangelists on the Jesus channels before settling in on a flick with lots of explosions and resultant body parts.
Benny Hinn
Well, Jesus. The televangelists are a sight to behold.

I don't think that I've seen such a collection of jewelry, hair dye, swishy ties, pastel suits, rhinestones, fastidious grooming, and wrist waiving princesses in my whole like as I saw in ten minutes of clicking around the Jesus channels.

And this was the male televangelists. For God's sake, Tammy Faye looks butch by comparison.
Benny Hinn
Not to mention how the televangelists act out.

Prancing and dancing, anquished concern mixed with lovestruck moons, shaking, crying, screaming, whispering -- an astounding range of skin-deep emoting, the kind of thing that would get a gay guy kicked out of a drag queen contest for being over the top.

If what I saw was a fair sampling of televangelists, the televangelists act a whole lot gayer than Carson and Crew.

And Dobson complains that SpongeBob is gay?

I wonder if Dobson says "Some of my best friends are ..." He might be dead on with that one.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

I checked "No" box ...

The GAO recently issued a study that gives us some insight into the cost we pay for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".

According to the GAO, 322 foreign language specialists considered critical in the war on terrorism have been forced out of the military in the past decade because of their sexual orientation. The soldiers had "skills in an important foreign language such as Arabic, Farsi, and Korean". At least 54 of the 322 language specialists spoke Arabic -- more than twice as many as the Pentagon's published estimates.

At the same time, more than 400 additional soldiers discharged under the policy had what the Pentagon considers "critical occupations," including Navy code-breakers, Army intelligence specialists and interrogators, Air Force air traffic controllers, and Marine Corps counterintelligence specialists.
Fallen
According to the report, a total of 9,488 GBLT soldiers have been discharged since 1993, and it has cost at least $200 million to recruit and train replacements. The GAO report noted that recruitment and training costs did not include other costs associated with "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", including the impact on the National Guard, Reserve, and Coast Guard or the costs of investigation administrative expenses related to removing GBLT servicemen.

The government's justification for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is that allowing GBLTs to serve openly undermines military readiness. The GAO report shows that there is another side to the story -- the policy itself is undermining our military readiness.

Meanwhile, back at the war, GBLT discharges continue to decline. Discharges, which hit their peak in 2001 (1,227) were down to 653 in 2004. Odd, isn't it? Historically, GBLT discharges fall dramatically during wartime, and rise again during peacetime. During peacetime, I guess, it is important for soldiers to be straight, while in wartime it is important for soldiers to shoot straight.

Statistics are good to have, but it is important not to forget the human story. The following is an account, by a soldier named Cameron, age 22, published March 1 in the Advocate:

I joined the Air Force at age 19, right after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. When I signed up, I told my recruiter that I was gay. Would it be a problem? He said no—as long as I didn’t talk about it. On the portion of my paperwork that asked if I was a homosexual, I checked the “no” box.

Now I see just how much “don’t ask, don’t tell” affects gay soldiers.

In April, I will leave for a six-month tour in Iraq. Until now I’ve worked and have been receiving specialized training at a base in the United States [The Advocate agreed not to print Cameron’s last name.] My job in Iraq will be to help locate explosive devices left by the insurgents. They prefer to leave explosives in vehicles, but my unit will also be charged with uncovering their weapons and explosives caches left elsewhere.

The hardest part will be not being able to see my boyfriend every day. We’ve been together a year, and I don’t even know if we’ll be able to write letters to each other. Can you get a letter from your boyfriend if you are serving in Iraq? I don’t know how that works. In some instances the military can read your mail. I will also have limited telephone access, and when I do call home, I will be surrounded by tons of people. So much for any private moments.

I was, am, and remain out to my family and my friends, and the only time I play straight is at work. I’m definitely living a double life, like in those movies on the Lifetime network—a man has two households, and neither knows about the other. That’s how I feel at work. You work so closely with all these people, but they have no idea who you are.

As my time to leave gets closer and closer, my boyfriend is taking it worse and worse. But he’s a trouper, and I hope everything will work out. We care about each other quite a bit, and even if it means we have to write letters in code, assigning him a woman’s name, we’ll do it to keep in touch.

I probably would not have signed up if I had realized how it would be, but for different reasons than one might think. You work side by side with people, develop close relationships, and really care for them, but are required to live a lie—or, at the very least, hold back from them what you’re doing on the weekends or where you’re going. But I made a commitment. I have a six-year contract, which is required for people who are in my job field. For me to fall short of that commitment would be cheating myself. I am scared. The situation is dangerous.

When I get out of the military I plan to focus on changing “don’t ask, don’t tell.” I love my job, and that policy is the only reason I won’t reenlist. I want to save people’s lives; it’s a great feeling of accomplishment. It’s just too much of a sacrifice of my personal life to live in the closet.

It is time for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to go the way of horse-drawn cannons.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Big 3 versus American Taliban

While social conservatives have focused on slamming doors on GBLT's in Michigan, launching a spate of lawsuits to roll back domestic partner benefits for GBLT employees of school districts around the state, Michigan's economic powerhouses -- the "Big 3" automakers -- are working to open doors in the Detroit area.

Last week, Ford Motor Company, DaimlerChrysler and General Motors Corporation representatives each announced gifts of $250,000 to help build the Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center in Ferndale, a Detroit suburb - the largest contributions ever given by a Fortune 500 company to a LGBT non-profit organization. The three pledges -- along with over a million dollars in personal pledges from Big 3 executives -- ensure that the center will be completed.

Spokesmen for the automakers made it clear that the companies' business needs stood in stark oppoosition to the social conservative agenda. Rod Gillum, chairman of the General Motors Foundation, said "The more inclusive we are as a company the better company we are." Ford Motor Company Vice Chairman Allan Gilmour -- who added a personal gift of $500,000 to the fund drive -- said: "The auto companies want to make this the best area possible for everyone - to get the best employees."
Update: Speaking of business battling the American Taliban, the Virginia House of Delegates voted 49-48 on Thursday to allow private companies to offer domestic partner benefits to their employees. The Senate had passed the bill earlier this month. The Governor plans to sign the measure into law. Virginia was the only state that prohibited private companies from providing DP benefits. Had Virginia lawmakers, among the most repressive in the nation, suddenly seen the light? Not hardly. Virginia businesses lobbied for this change, arguing that they were losing a competitive edge that would drive them from the state.
Gilmour also addressed the threats of potential backlash against GBLT employees of the Big 3 by religious conservatives who are frustrated by the unwillingness of the automakers to fall in line with social conservative priorities: "People can believe whatever they wish to believe, but when they work they will behave in accordance with the values and principals of their company. That means they will respect each other."

Ferndale City Manager Tom Barwin: "It's fantastic for Ferndale. You've got $5 million of new investment in the ground that will attract thousands of people. But more importantly, it's a great addition to the social and cultural fabric of southeast Michigan. It's a win win win situation."

As I contrast the enlightened self-interest of businesses all over the country with the destructive actions of the Religious Right -- forcing local school districts in Michigan to divert millions of dollars away from education and into legal defense, for example -- I begin to wonder how long sensible people in our country will put up with the American Taliban snarling attempts to destroy the foundation of our country's future.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Inversions

I find it interesting how the debate over same-sex marriage seems to turn everything inside out.

Social conservatives, who have been traditional defenders of states rights, have become champions of federal rights. Catholics, who have drawn clear and distinct lines between sacramental marriage and civil marriage with respect to divorce, have erased those lines with respect to marriage. Gays and lesbians, who were at the forefront of finding alternatives to traditional marriage a decade ago, have become the last people in the country who want to enter into marriage. Bob Barr, who has loathed the ACLU in the past (and vice versa) recently joined the ACLU in a statement opposing the whatever-it-is-now-labeled Federal Marriage Amendment.

The latest inversion might be on the pro-choice/pro-life front.

Maine's Republican Representative Brian Duprey submitted a bill to the State Legislature to shield potentially homosexual fetuses from discrimination. LD 908, "An Act to Protect Homosexuals from Discrimination," attempts to protect homosexuals from death because they might carry the gene that could lead to homosexuality.

This bill as drafted would make it a crime to abort an unborn child if that child is determined to be carrying the "homosexual gene." Although Duprey conceded that no such genetic marker has yet been discovered, considering rapid advancements in genetic mapping research, he wants legislation in place should such a breakthrough occur. "If the homosexual gene is ever determined to exist, I want to ensure that a woman could not abort an unborn child simply because that child is determined to be carrying this gene."

Duprey received the idea for this bill when listening to the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Duprey "heard Rush saying that the day the "gay gene" is determined to be real, that overnight gays would become pro-life," but reached the opposite conclusion -- that social conservatives might well become pro-choice. "I have heard from women who told me that if they found out that they were carrying a child with the gay gene, then they would abort. I think this is wrong. Those unborn children should be protected."

Odd.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Only in Virginia

A Virginia senate committee rejected legislation on last week that would have required social workers in adoption cases to determine whether the applicants are "known to engage in current voluntary homosexual activity".

On an overwhelming voice vote, the courts of justice committee refused to send Delegate Richard Black's bill to the senate floor. The house of delegates had passed the bill 71-24 last week.

Republican senator Kenneth W. Stolle of Virginia Beach, chairman of the committee, said the adoption law already protects the child's best interests by requiring thorough background checks that include, among other things, the applicant's moral suitability. "This thing comes awfully close to being pretty bigoted, so I can't support it," said Senator Richard Saslaw, a Fairfax Democrat.

Not to mention stupid.

Update: The Bush administration has backed down on a call for an LGBT suicide conference to remove the words "gay," "lesbian," "bisexual" and "transgender" from its material. Charles Curie, Administrator of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, now says that it is permissible for groups that receive money from the agency to use the terms "Gay", "Lesbian", "Bisexual" and "Transgender" in the titles of SAMHSA-sponsored public events.

The conference was originally titled "Suicide Prevention Among Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender Individuals." The request to change the name came from SAMHSA project manager Brenda Bruun who suggested the organizers use "sexual orientation". Organizers of the conference said that the term "sexual orientation" is inadequate to describe the scope of the session.

Currie "clarified" the agency's position after Cong. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) intervened and the agency was deluged with complaints. Frank says that it was only after several calls directly to Curie that he received a clear statement that the LGBT terms could be used.

I wonder if SAMHSA employees are prohibited from asking "How gay is that?"

Black's chief witness: Paul Cameron, chairman of the Family Research Institute in Colorado Springs, Colorado, who claimed that gays, drug users, and prostitutes "disrupt society" and have a much lower than normal life expectancy. Responding to questions from Democratic senator Janet Howell of Fairfax, Cameron acknowledged that the American Psychological Association expelled him in 1983 for violating the association's ethical principles. He also conceded that the American Sociological Association adopted resolutions in 1985 and 1986 claiming that Cameron had consistently misrepresented sociological research. Cameron said those rebukes stemmed from "political differences." He said the ASA and other organizations have begun a covert "affirmative action" program favoring gay couples in adoptions to make up for what they believe to be past discrimination.

Sidebar: Under the catagory of "No good deed goes unpunished, today's Detroit
Free Press has an article on MADDatGM, a
group advocating a boybott of GM products because of GM's efforts to curb drunk
driving.

Robert H. Knight, director of the Culture and Family Institute in Washington, D.C., urged the panel to endorse Black's bill. "Who among us could say that our father could be replaced by a lesbian, and this would not have made any difference in our lives? Or that our mother could just as easily have been a male homosexual?"

Or maybe two dyke bunnies?

Meanwhile, up on the podium, real close to God herself, the Reverend Debra Peevey of the Journey of the Heart Ministries in Reston, Virginia, delivered the invocation to open last Friday’s House of Delegates floor session.

In her prayer, Peevey petitioned: “Holy One, convict those who are using their power not to lead or to guide but to harm the gay and lesbian citizens, a small minority in this commonwealth."

That didn’t sit well with conservatives in the House. The usual “Amen” chorus at the end of the prayer was noticeably muted.

I thought it was very inappropriate myself,” said Delegate Kathy Byron, Republican-Campbell County. “This individual basically said we were using our power to harm gay or lesbian citizens.

Oh, Lord, bless Thee now this Holy Hand Grenade?

Yeah, well, duh. Only in Virginia.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Onward Christian Soldiers

USA Next, a conservative group planning a campaign attacking AARP over its stance on Social Security and other issues, ran an Internet advertisement on Monday linking the group to support for same-sex marriage.

The advertisement, which ran briefly on The American Spectator Web site, had two pictures, one of an American soldier that was crossed out and the other showing two men in tuxedos kissing each other and carrying a check mark. The advertisement carried the slogan "the real AARP agenda." Officials at USA Next said the advertisement was a test.

Filthy Disgusting Lie
And these idiots are proud of it, too. "We are going to be revealing areas where the AARP is out of touch with a large number of their members, including the issue of marriage," Charlie Jarvis, the group's chief executive, said in a statement. "We will engage AARP with an aggressive campaign to educate the people about where they really stand on the issues and how out of touch they are with the large majority of their own members."

Not that it is surprising. Formerly known as the United Seniors Association, USA Next was founded by Richard Viguerie, a Republican pioneer and mastermind of direct mailings, who raised millions of dollars from older Americans using solicitations that sent alarming messages about Social Security and other issues.

The AARP has not in fact, of course, taken a position on same-sex marriage. Like many sensible Americans, however, the Ohio AARP opposed the state's proposed constitional amendment last fall, because the "other similar unions" clause blocked legal recognition of the arrangements made by many older, widowed, straights. That seems to be about it in terms of the AARP's involvement in the same-sex marriage battle.

USA Next's ad is yet another example of the way in which social conservatives are morphing our political language. Opposition to ill-conceived, drafted-with-a-crayon constitutional amendments because they are stupid -- and that is more than sufficient reason to oppose the amendments, no matter what you might think about same-sex marriage -- has, in the minds of social conservatives, morphed into affirmative support for same-sex marriage.

And the sad thing is that many Americans are buying this load of crap.

In a wry comment on the flap, David M. Smith, vice president of policy for the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights group, said, "These groups think that the debate on any issue can be dismissed by bringing up gay marriage. We're probably going to see the cancellation of the NHL hockey season blamed on gay marriage next."

Or maybe the divorce rate ...

"Whatever ..." is in order, I guess, but I'd recommend that the President not bother with the WMD hogwash when he takes us to war in Iran. All he has to say is "Unless we take out Iran, we won't be able to stop homosexual marriage ..."

The recruitment centers will be overflowing, no doubt, and USA Next can rewrite their ad to attack AARP for not coming out in support of reinstituting the draft for Vietnam veterans.

I now belong to three subversive organizations who are apparently dead set to destroy civilization as we know it: the HRC, the ACLU and the AARP. And proud of it, too.

But really. Who the hell ever heard of anyone being proud to be an AARP member? All you have to do to join the AARP is live long to the ripe old age of 50 and have $35 to spare. Not a high bar for helping destroy civilization.

The Gay Divorcees

Well, it turns out that gay and lesbian married couples are not the only persona non gratia at the White House these days.
Charles and Camilla
London's Mirror reported Sunday that the White House has scuttled plans by Prince Charles to take Camilla to visit the White House on a Royal tour of the US later this year.

The Mirror quoted a government insider as saying "It was relayed to us from Washington that Mrs Parker Bowles would not be welcome at the White House" because she is a divorcee.

The White House, according to the Mirror, told palace aides it was "inappropriate" for the President to be play host to the couple.

Update: Shrek 2 is the latest animation to be "outed" by social conservatives. The Traditional Values Coalition's website is warning parents about the cross-dressing and transgender themes contained in the hit DreamWorks movie, now on DVD. "Shrek 2 is billed as harmless entertainment but contains subtle sexual messages," according to the website. So far, the Coalition's gaydar doesn't seem to have picked up on DreamWorks' Shark Tale, in which a shark mafioso, voiced by Robert DeNiro, must come to terms with the fact he has a vegetarian son who likes to dress up as a dolphin. Is this a remake of Ferdinand the Bull, or what?

Hopping down the bunny twail ... Wemember when shotgun-toting Elmer Fudd wealized Bugs Bunny was in dwag? Elmer was fuwious, but only because he saw Bugs' cotton tail and wealized that Bugs was a wabbit in disguise. Pwetty subtle wecwuiting, huh?
The Mirror, quoting a British government source, said the Prince's US tour will likely be called off in light of the President's snub. It would have been the Prince's first State visit to America since Princess Diana's death seven years ago.

This is just silly. Doesn't the White House remember that Ronald Reagan, Mr. Family Values himself, was divorced and remarried?

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Rum, Simpsons and the Lash

Sunday was an interesting juxtaposition. NASCAR all afternoon and the Simpsons at night.

As everyone knows, the Simpsons tackled same-sex marriage Sunday night, and managed to stick a pin in just about everyone's balloon. A half hour of satire and chuckles.

Cartoons, reflecting the increasing inability of some Americans to distinguish between entertainment and reality, have become the epicenter of the culture war. So it was inevitable, I guess, that the Simpsons drew the usual crowd of nay-saying from social conservatives.
Wedding
L. Brent Bozell III, president of the Parents Television Council, criticized "The Simpsons" for addressing the issue of gay marriage: "At a time when the public mood is overwhelmingly against gay marriage, any show that promotes gay marriage is deliberately bucking the public mood. I'd rather them not do it at all. You've got a show watched by millions of children. Do children need to have gay marriage thrust in their faces as an issue? Why can't we just entertain them?"

I don't suppose we can expect children to see the entertainment value in comments like this, butI do. The Simpsons tackles just about every social issue on the planet, usually in a completely irreverent way, and Bozell complains about this? And anyway, aren't children's sermons and the platitudes of NASCAR pre-race commentary enough entertainment for one Sunday?

Ed Vitagliano, a spokesman for the American Family Association says the content of the episode wasn’t appropriate for a show geared to children: "The problem that we have with a program like that is that whenever these issues seem to be discussed in the media, it’s always one-sided. There’s only a particular perspective that is allowed. These shows don’t show problems that exist with that lifestyle."

I'd like to see television depict the problems faced by gays and lesbians honestly, dealing with things like the difficulty of maintaining relationships on the sly, dealing with schools that are unsafe for gay and lesbian kids, gay and lesbian kids on the street because they kicked out of families, job discrimination, the constant drumbeat of anti-gay jokes, unrelenting condemnation by Christians, and all the rest. But somehow I don't think that is what Vitaglinano has in mind.

Sidebar: Britain's navy, which until five years ago banned gays from its workforce, announced that gay servicemen and women will be able to live in married quarters with their partners starting later this year. Okay, so sodomy is handled. Now what happened to rum and the lash?
Robert Knight, director of the Culture and Family Institute at Concerned Women for America, said: "There is a full-court press to portray homosexuality as normal and desirable, and Hollywood has been pursuing this for more than two decades now. Rarely do you see the downside of homosexual life, and the rarest person of all on the screen is the ex-gay, a person who has overcome homosexuality. That’s the most invisible group in the country, and yet there are thousands of people out there who have overcome homosexuality."

Thousands of ex-gays? Oh, please. By any reasonable estimate, there are about 10-15 million gays and lesbians in this country, as many people as live in Illinois -- the fifth largest in the United States. More people, in fact, than live in 44 of our 50 states. Thousands of ex-gays wouldn't fill up Springfield.

Think about that ...

Monday, February 21, 2005

Running Hot, Running Cold, Running Scared

I've always been of two minds about President Bush on the marriage issue.

At times, he seems to run hot, as he did the day he called a special, single-issue press conference to issue a statement saying that the FMA was a critical issue for our nation's wellbeing. And at other times, he seems to run cold, as he did a month or so back when he signalled that he was not going to expend political capital on the PMA (the "Protect Marriage Amendment", the current product launch, apparently relabeled in response to focus groups).

So I've never been able to decide out whether the President is just playing politics with gay and lesbian families, appeasing the Religious Right, or whether he actually believes that "protecting" us against same-sex marriage is something worth upending our federal system to accomplish.

The New York Times published an article on Sunday that sheds light on the question. The article summarizes audio tapes made by a Bush family retainer, Doug Wead, when the President was just beginning his first run for the White House.

The tapes suggest that President Bush had, at the time, real reservations about getting into bed with the Religious Right, but was, even then, firmly opposed to same-sex mariage.

At any rate, here is the article, in relevant part:

Early on, though, Mr. Bush appeared most worried that Christian conservatives would object to his determination not to criticize gay people. "I think he wants me to attack homosexuals," Mr. Bush said after meeting James Robison, a prominent evangelical minister in Texas.

But Mr. Bush said he did not intend to change his position. He said he told Mr. Robison: "Look, James, I got to tell you two things right off the bat. One, I'm not going to kick gays, because I'm a sinner. How can I differentiate sin?"

Later, he read aloud an aide's report from a convention of the Christian Coalition, a conservative political group: "This crowd uses gays as the enemy. It's hard to distinguish between fear of the homosexual political agenda and fear of homosexuality, however."

"This is an issue I have been trying to downplay," Mr. Bush said. "I think it is bad for Republicans to be kicking gays."

Told that one conservative supporter was saying Mr. Bush had pledged not to hire gay people, Mr. Bush said sharply: "No, what I said was, I wouldn't fire gays."

As early as 1998, however, Mr. Bush had already identified one gay-rights issue where he found common ground with conservative Christians: same-sex marriage. "Gay marriage, I am against that. Special rights, I am against that," Mr. Bush told Mr. Wead, five years before a Massachusetts court brought the issue to national attention.

Mr. Bush took stock of conservative Christian views of foreign policy as well. Reading more of the report from the Christian Coalition meeting, Mr. Bush said to Mr. Wead: "Sovereignty. The issue is huge. The mere mention of Kofi Annan in the U.N. caused the crowd to go into a veritable fit. The coalition wants America strong and wants the American flag flying overseas, not the pale blue of the U.N."

As eager as Mr. Bush was to cultivate the support of Christian conservatives, he did not want to do it too publicly for fear of driving away more secular voters. When Mr. Wead warned Mr. Bush to avoid big meetings with evangelical leaders, Mr. Bush said, "I'm just going to have one," and, "This is not meant to be public."

The report doesn't entirely settle the question for me, but at least I know that President Bush is not a complete fraud on the question of same-sex marriage. He's against it, for whatever reasons. Maybe he believes same-sex marriage is wrong because he reads Leviticus, or maybe he believes that Jenna and Barbara are more likely to stay married if gays and lesbians can't marry. But anyway, he's actually against it. That's something, I guess.

But President Bush seems to have been, then as now, running scared, primarily.

The attitude he expressed in the tapes is largely defensive, groping to find a path between appeasing the Religious Right in their insatiable demand that gays and lesbians be demonized, and the large number of people in this country that think the Religious Right is a bunch of fundie wingnuts.

The tapes shed some light on his attitudes toward same-sex marriage, but shed even more on his ambivalence.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Oh Canada

Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin delivered the following address before the House of Commons in Ottawa today, February 16, 2005. I post it without comment.

I rise today in support of Bill C-38, the Civil Marriage Act. I rise in support of a Canada in which liberties are safeguarded, rights are protected and the people of this land are treated as equals under the law.

This is an important day. The attention of our nation is focused on this chamber, in which John Diefenbaker introduced the Bill of Rights, in which Pierre Trudeau fought to establish the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Our deliberations will be not merely about a piece of legislation or sections of legal text - more deeply, they will be about the kind of nation we are today, and the nation we want to be.

This bill protects minority rights. This bill affirms the Charter guarantee of religious freedom. It is that straightforward, Mr. Speaker, and it is that important.

And that is why I stand today before members here and before the people of this country to say: I believe in, and I will fight for, the Charter of Rights. I believe in, and I will fight for, a Canada that respects the foresight and vision of those who created and entrenched the Charter. I believe in, and I will fight for, a future in which generations of Canadians to come, Canadians born here and abroad, will have the opportunity to value the Charter as we do today - as an essential pillar of our democratic freedoms.

There have been a number of arguments put forward by those who do not support this bill. It’s important and respectful to examine them and to assess them.

First, some have claimed that, once this bill becomes law, religious freedoms will be less than fully protected. This is demonstrably untrue. As it pertains to marriage, the government’s legislation affirms the Charter guarantee: that religious officials are free to perform such ceremonies in accordance with the beliefs of their faith.

In this, we are guided by the ruling of the Supreme Court of Canada, which makes clear that in no church, no synagogue, no mosque, no temple - in no religious house will those who disagree with same-sex unions be compelled to perform them. Period. That is why this legislation is about civil marriage, not religious marriage.

Moreover and this is crucially important - the Supreme Court has declared unanimously, and I quote: “The guarantee of religious freedom in section 2(a) of the Charter is broad enough to protect religious officials from being compelled by the state to perform civil or religious same-sex marriages that are contrary to their religious beliefs.

The facts are plain: Religious leaders who preside over marriage ceremonies must and will be guided by what they believe. If they do not wish to celebrate marriages for same-sex couples, that is their right. The Supreme Court says so. And the Charter says so.

One final observation on this aspect of the issue: Religious leaders have strong views both for and against this legislation. They should express them. Certainly, many of us in this House, myself included, have a strong faith, and we value that faith and its influence on the decisions we make. But all of us have been elected to serve here as Parliamentarians. And as public legislators, we are responsible for serving all Canadians and protecting the rights of all Canadians.

We will be influenced by our faith but we also have an obligation to take the widest perspective to recognize that one of the great strengths of Canada is its respect for the rights of each and every individual, to understand that we must not shrink from the need to reaffirm the rights and responsibilities of Canadians in an evolving society.

The second argument ventured by opponents of the bill is that government ought to hold a national referendum on this issue. I reject this - not out of a disregard for the view of the people, but because it offends the very purpose of the Charter.

The Charter was enshrined to ensure that the rights of minorities are not subjected, are never subjected, to the will of the majority. The rights of Canadians who belong to a minority group must always be protected by virtue of their status as citizens, regardless of their numbers. These rights must never be left vulnerable to the impulses of the majority.

We embrace freedom and equality in theory, Mr. Speaker. We must also embrace them in fact.

Third, some have counseled the government to extend to gays and lesbians the right to civil union. This would give same-sex couples many of the rights of a wedded couple, but their relationships would not legally be considered marriage. In other words, they would be equal, but not quite as equal as the rest of Canadians.

Mr. Speaker, the courts have clearly and consistently ruled that this option would offend the equality provisions of the Charter. For instance, the British Columbia Court of Appeal stated that, and I quote: "Marriage is the only road to true equality for same-sex couples. Any other form of recognition of same-sex relationships falls short of true equality."

Put simply, we must always remember that separate but equal is not equal. What's more, those who call for the establishment of civil unions fail to understand that the Government of Canada does not have the constitutional jurisdiction to do so. Only the provinces have that. Only the provinces could define such a regime - and they could define it in 10 different ways, and some jurisdictions might not bother to define it at all. There would be uncertainty. There would be confusion. There would certainly not be equality.

Fourth, some are urging the government to respond to the decisions of the courts by getting out of the marriage business altogether. That would mean no more civil weddings for any couples.

It is worth noting that this idea was rejected by the major religions themselves when their representatives appeared before the Standing Committee on Justice and Human Rights in 2003. Moreover, it would be an extreme and counterproductive response for the government to deny civil marriage to opposite-sex couples simply so it can keep it from same-sex couples. To do so would simply be to replace one form of discrimination with another.

Finally, Mr. Speaker, there are some who oppose this legislation who would have the government use the notwithstanding clause in the Charter of Rights to override the courts and reinstate the traditional definition of marriage. And really, this is the fundamental issue here.

Understand that in seven provinces and one territory, the lawful union of two people of the same sex in civil marriage is already the law of the land. The debate here today is not about whether to change the definition of marriage - it’s been changed. The debate comes down to whether we should override a right that is now in place. The debate comes down to the Charter, the protection of minority rights, and whether the federal government should invoke the notwithstanding clause.

I know that some think we should use the clause. For example, some religious leaders feel this way. I respect their candor in publicly recognizing that because same-sex marriage is already legal in most of the country, the only way - the only way - to again make civil marriage the exclusive domain of opposite-sex couples is to use the notwithstanding clause.

Ultimately Mr. Speaker, there is only one issue before this House in this debate. For most Canadians, in most parts of our country, same-sex marriage is already the law of the land. Thus, the issue is not whether rights are to be granted. The issue is whether rights that have been granted are to be taken away.

Some are frank and straightforward and say yes. Others have not been so candid. Despite being confronted with clear facts, despite being confronted with the unanimous opinion of 134 legal scholars, experts in their field, intimately familiar with the Constitution, some have chosen to not be forthright with Canadians. They have eschewed the honest approach in favour of the political approach. They have attempted to cajole the public into believing that we can return to the past with a simple snap of the fingers, that we can revert to traditional definition of marriage without consequence and without overriding the Charter. They’re insincere. They’re disingenuous. And they're wrong.

There is one question that demands an answer - a straight answer - from those who would seek to lead this nation and its people. It is a simple question: Will you use the notwithstanding clause to overturn the definition of civil marriage and deny to Canadians a right guaranteed under the Charter?

This question does not demand rhetoric. It demands clarity. There are only two legitimate answers - yes or no. Not the demagoguery we have heard, not the dodging, the flawed reasoning, the false options. Just yes or no.

Will you take away a right as guaranteed under the Charter? I, for one, will answer that question, Mr. Speaker. I will answer it clearly. I will say no.

The notwithstanding clause is part of the Charter of Rights. But there’s a reason that no prime minister has ever used it. For a prime minister to use the powers of his office to explicitly deny rather than affirm a right enshrined under the Charter would serve as a signal to all minorities that no longer can they look to the nation’s leader and to the nation’s Constitution for protection, for security, for the guarantee of their freedoms. We would risk becoming a country in which the defence of rights is weighed, calculated and debated based on electoral or other considerations.

That would set us back decades as a nation. It would be wrong for the minorities of this country. It would be wrong for Canada.

The Charter is a living document, the heartbeat of our Constitution. It is also a proclamation. It declares that as Canadians, we live under a progressive and inclusive set of fundamental beliefs about the value of the individual. It declares that we all are lessened when any one of us is denied a fundamental right.

We cannot exalt the Charter as a fundamental aspect of our national character and then use the notwithstanding clause to reject the protections that it would extend. Our rights must be eternal, not subject to political whim.

To those who value the Charter yet oppose the protection of rights for same-sex couples, I ask you: If a prime minister and a national government are willing to take away the rights of one group, what is to say they will stop at that? If the Charter is not there today to protect the rights of one minority, then how can we as a nation of minorities ever hope, ever believe, ever trust that it will be there to protect us tomorrow?

My responsibility as Prime Minister, my duty to Canada and to Canadians, is to defend the Charter in its entirety. Not to pick and choose the rights that our laws shall protect and those that are to be ignored. Not to decree those who shall be equal and those who shall not. My duty is to protect the Charter, as some in this House will not.

Let us never forget that one of the reasons that Canada is such a vibrant nation, so diverse, so rich in the many cultures and races of the world, is that immigrants who come here - as was the case with the ancestors of many of us in this chamber - feel free and are free to practice their religion, follow their faith, live as they want to live. No homogenous system of beliefs is imposed on them.

When we as a nation protect minority rights, we are protecting our multicultural nature. We are reinforcing the Canada we value. We are saying, proudly and unflinchingly, that defending rights - not just those that happen to apply to us, not just that everyone approves of, but all fundamental rights - is at the very soul of what it means to be a Canadian.

This is a vital aspect of the values we hold dear and strive to pass on to others in the world who are embattled, who endure tyranny, whose freedoms are curtailed, whose rights are violated.

Why is the Charter so important, Mr. Speaker? We have only to look at our own history. Unfortunately, Canada's story is one in which not everyone's rights were protected under the law. We have not been free from discrimination, bias, unfairness. There have been blatant inequalities.

Remember that it was once thought perfectly acceptable to deny women “personhood and the right to vote. There was a time, not that long ago, that if you wore a turban, you couldn’t serve in the RCMP. The examples are many, but what’s important now is that they are part of our past, not our present.

Over time, perspectives changed. We evolved, we grew, and our laws evolved and grew with us. That is as it should be. Our laws must reflect equality not as we understood it a century or even a decade ago, but as we understand it today.

For gays and lesbians, evolving social attitudes have, over the years, prompted a number of important changes in the law. Recall that, until the late 1960s, the state believed it had the right to peek into our bedrooms. Until 1977, homosexuality was still sufficient grounds for deportation. Until 1992, gay people were prohibited from serving in the military. In many parts of the country, gays and lesbians could not designate their partners as beneficiaries under employee medical and dental benefits, insurance policies or private pensions. Until very recently, people were being fired merely for being gay.

Today, we rightly see discrimination based on sexual orientation as arbitrary, inappropriate and unfair. Looking back, we can hardly believe that such rights were ever a matter for debate. It is my hope that we will ultimately see the current debate in a similar light; realizing that nothing has been lost or sacrificed by the majority in extending full rights to the minority.

Without our relentless, inviolable commitment to equality and minority rights, Canada would not be at the forefront in accepting newcomers from all over the world, in making a virtue of our multicultural nature - the complexity of ethnicities and beliefs that make up Canada, that make us proud that we are where our world is going, not where it's been.

Four years ago, I stood in this House and voted to support the traditional definition of marriage. Many of us did. My misgivings about extending the right of civil marriage to same-sex couples were a function of my faith, my perspective on the world around us.

But much has changed since that day. We've heard from courts across the country, including the Supreme Court. We've come to the realization that instituting civil unions - adopting a 'separate but equal approach - would violate the equality provisions of the Charter. We've confirmed that extending the right of civil marriage to gays and lesbians will not in any way infringe on religious freedoms.

And so where does that leave us? It leaves us staring in the face of the Charter of Rights with but a single decision to make: Do we abide by the Charter and protect minority rights, or do we not?

To those who would oppose this bill, I urge you to consider that the core of the issue before us today is whether the rights of all Canadians are to be respected. I believe they must be. Justice demands it. Fairness demands it. The Canada we love demands it.

Mr. Speaker: In the 1960s, the government of Lester Pearson faced opposition as it moved to entrench official bilingualism. But it persevered, and it won the day. Its members believed it was the right thing to do, and it was. In the 1980s, the government of Pierre Trudeau faced opposition as it attempted to repatriate the Constitution and enshrine a Charter of Rights and Freedoms. But it persevered, and it won the day. Its members believed it was the right thing to do, and it was.

There are times, Mr. Speaker, when we as Parliamentarians can feel the gaze of history upon us. They felt it in the days of Pearson. They felt it in the days of Trudeau. And we, the 308 men and women elected to represent one of the most inclusive, just and respectful countries on the face of this earth, feel it today.

There are few nations whose citizens cannot look to Canada and see their own reflection. For generations, men and women and families from the four corners of the globe have made the decision to chose Canada to be their home. Many have come here seeking freedom of thought, religion and belief. Seeking the freedom simply to be.

The people of Canada have worked hard to build a country that opens its doors to include all, regardless of their differences; a country that respects all, regardless of their differences; a country that demands equality for all, regardless of their differences.

If we do not step forward, then we step back. If we do not protect a right, then we deny it. Mr. Speaker, together as a nation, together as Canadians: Let us step forward.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Sodom and Gommorpha

When it's family, you forgive them for they know not what they do
When it's family, you accept them, 'cause you have no choice but to

When it's family, they're a mirror of the worst and best in you

And they always put you to the test
And you always try to do your best

And just pray for God to do the rest, when it's family

Some are preachers, some are gay

Some are addicts, drunks and strays

But not a one is turned away, when it's family

Some are lucky, others ain't

Some are fighters, others faint

Winners, losers, sinners, saints, it's all family

And when it's family you trust them and your heart's an open door

When it's family, you tolerate what you'd kill others for

When it's family, you love and hate and take, then give some more

Somehow you justify mistakes, try to find some better way

To solve the problems day to day, in the family

You take the trouble as it comes and love them more than anyone

Good or bad or indifferent, it's still family

You choose your lovers, you pick your friends

Not the family that you're in, nah

They'll be with you 'til the end, 'cause it's family

And when it's family, you forgive them for they know not what they do

When it's family, they're a mirror of the worst and best in you

When it's family, when it's family

Let me be all that I should be to the family

- Dolly Parton, "Family"

Social conservatives are morphing our language.

It is nothing new, of course.

A while back, "life" became equated with opposition to abortion, as in the "pro-life/pro-choice" divide within our culture, and the word morphed even further more recently to embrace the entire, unholy agenda of social conservatives, so it is now gotten to the point where people will proclaim themselves "pro-life" while defending capital punishment.

More recently, "Support Our Troops" came to be equated with "Support Our War" and "Bush/Cheney04", in the process creating a whole magnetic ribbon industry. How we got from "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree" to "Bush/Cheney04" is beyond me, but it goes to show, if nothing else, that nobody ever lost money by misunderestimating the lack of intelligence of the American people.

The morphing, this time, I think, is centering around the words "family", "values" and "marriage".

In the last year or so, "pro-family" and "family values" have become code words for "against gay and lesbian rights", just as "protect marriage" has become a code word for "against same-sex marriage".

Social conservatives morphed the terms, I'm convinced, because however much gays and lesbians are joked about and generally despised in our country, social conservatives sensed that using raw terms of discrimination (simply saying "We've got to keep the queers in their place ..." for example) would be too much for the American people, who have a history of tolerance and live and let live, to swallow.

And it is an ingenious strategy, too.

Although social conservatives seem to be unable to explain how gays and lesbians threaten marriage or families, it is hard to think of terms that are more emotionally charged than "marriage" and "family".

Families are the locus of our strongest attachments, for better or worse, our happiest moments and our biggest regrets. Talk about "family" to almost anyone, and you'll hear a lot, and most of it reflecting Dolly's song. We are stuck with our families, and we stick with them, thick and thin, to the point where "blood runs thicker than water" is an explanation for absolutely irrational behavior that everyone understands and accepts.

And marriage -- both marriage itself and the expectation that we will marry -- shapes our lives from an early age. Marriage is, for most of us, entangled with our understanding of self so closely -- our sense of "home" and "family" -- that we define ourselves in terms of marriage -- single, married, divorced, widowed.

For gays and lesbians, the morphing has an impact that goes beyond propaganda and deception.

The morph of "family" to exclude gays and lesbians is an cruel juxtaposition, because within the GBLT community, the word "family" has been used to connote "gay and lesbian", as used in the expression "She's family ..." or the descriptor "family-friendly" business, or the "FAMILY" rainbow bumper stickers you see on about half the Volvos being driven in the country, it seems. It is so common that if you hear anyone saying "Hi, family ..." outside of Grandma's kitchen, you can bet you've got a gay or lesbian (or maybe a wannabe) on your hands.

Update: An Ohio judge dodged the question of whether Ohio’s constitutional amendment banning gay marriage makes the state’s 25-year-old domestic violence law unconstitutional. Darnell Forte, a 30-year-old Cleveland man accused of slapping his live-in girlfriend, had asked the judge to throw out a domestic violence charge, saying such a charge should be reserved for married couples under the amendment banning gay marriage and civil unions. Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Judge Stuart Friedman denied Forte’s request, because the domestic violence charge was filed in August, before Ohio’s marriage amendment passed in November with 62 percent of the vote. Friedman also said his court is usually not the place where constitutional cases are determined. The ruling was widely anticipated as a possible precedent for similar cases.

And morph of "family" to mean "against gay" brings back, for many gays and lesbians, the rifts with their family of origin that arose because of their orientation -- the fear of "coming out", the tears, the distance between parent and child, and, perhaps, the eventual reconciliation and healing. Either way, the morph of "family" to "against gay" reopens the wounds.

And that isn't the half of it. Social conservatives, in order to sell the idea of "protect marriage", are pushing the idea that marriage is essentially about procreation, and in so doing, denying the reality and value of all families except mom-dad families.

Just as we now see social conservatives putting quotation marks around "marriage" when they mean same-sex marriage, I think we are going to start seeing them use quotation marks around the word "family" to describe any family other than a mom-dad family.

That this is an attempt to out-define dad-dad and mom-mom families goes without saying. But it also calls into question the reality of single-parent families as well. We already see Focus on Family and other similar groups -- not to mention the President -- offering the opinion children who are raised outside mom-dad families grow up at their peril, and it will not take much of a leap to out-define single-parent families as well as families headed by gays and lesbians. In fact, it is probably inevitable.

What this will do to social perceptions of single-parent families -- and self-perceptions of the mothers and dads trying to raise those families -- is not something anyone can predict. But it cannot be good for our society.

I worry, too, about another word. It seems to me that "tolerance" is beginning to morph into "pro-gay".

I'm not sure that is going to make it into our common language -- it might be that the American people will not accept that morph -- but if the morph makes it, and "tolerance" becomes a term of division rather than a shared cultural value, the morph will signal a sea change in our American life.

In any event, whatever the future of the word itself, it cannot be good for our society to hear powerful and influential political and religious leaders sneering at tolerance.

Tolerance -- the idea of live and let live, based in the idea that everyone has a right to determine their own destiny and equal freedom in which to do so -- is critical for a pluralistic society.

We cannot afford to lose it, lest we become the Balkans.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Homosteria

The logic of Focus on Family is remarkably simple. SpongeBob must be gay because gays like him. Jerry Falwell said the same thing about the Teletubbies years back. Ernie and Bert were similarly assailed.

And now the United States government is upset with Postcards from Buster, because Buster, the lostboy product of his parent's divorce visited a Vermont family headed by two women, and ejaculated "Boy, that's a lot of moms!" with a tad too much enthusiasm before moving on to the subject of maple sugar.

The mob is loosed and the hunt is on. Anything with a hint of homosexuality or the wiff of tolerance for homsexuals becomes the subject of homosteria. "We can't let our kids be exposed to that ..."

The only question is where it will end.

We've got legislators in Alabama talking about book banning (I guess even Alabamans understand that book burning is environmentally unsound) and Georgia legislators defunding public television because the stations dare to tell the story of gay Georgians.

Will it end before the most common themes of children's literature -- the friendship between two boys or two girls, the challenges of being short or tall or otherwise "different" from other kids, the urge to discover the world beyond their own backyard -- are condemned as homoerotic or implicitly endorsing tolerance for homosexuals?

Or will it end only after the baby's been tossed.

Watch out Huck Finn.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Covenant Marriage

On Valentine's Day, Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and his wife, Janet, upgraded their marriage from a regular civil marriage to a "covenant marriage".

Covenant marriage is a legally binding contract (currently available only in Arkansas, Arizona and Louisiana) which a couple can enter into only after premarital counseling, in which a couple commits to counseling before any separation and which limits divorce to a handful of grounds, like adultery or abuse. Covenant marriage is designed to prepare a couple for marriage and to put legal teeth behind a couple's wedding vows "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do them part".

Covenant marriage originated in Louisiana in 1997. Under the covenant, couples express their intention to remain married for life and agree to premarital counseling from a counselor or member of the clergy, and to seek further counseling before filing for divorce. In addition, covenant couples are restricted to a handful of legal grounds for divorce; adultery, felony conviction, one year of abandonment, sexual or physical abuse and separation of at least two years. A similar law was enacted in Arizona in 1998, although that one, after lengthy legislative debate, included a provision allowing for a no-fault divorce if both partners agreed to divorce.
The Arkansas version, passed in 2001, is similar to the Louisiana one, though it adds habitual drunkenness and "behavior that imposes intolerable indignities" to the list of reasons a couple can divorce. (Nothing about low down skunk cousins, though - family counts in Arkansas.)

Covenant marriage supporters staged a series of events organized over the Valentine's Day weekend to revive interest in covenant marriage. No state has adopted a covenant marriage law since Arkansas in 2001, while two dozen have considered the idea and declined to embrace it. Even in the three states where it is legal, it is not mandatory and only small numbers of couples have opted for it, somewhere from 1 percent to 2 percent, according to studies.
Truth is, it's not been much of a movement.

"The numbers haven't been real high yet," the New York Times quoted Len Munsil, president of the Center for Arizona Policy, a conservative religious group, and a strong supporter of covenant marriage. "It did stall a little bit. The debate over same-sex marriage has taken a lot of attention."

Proponents of covenant marriage hope that in the wake of the President's election last fall, they can convert some of the energy that poured into keeping gays and lesbians from marrying into energy to keep straights married. (Lesson: "Scared Straight"?)

Update: Speaking of marriage, Delegate Scott Limgamfelter withdrew the proposed legislation that would have plastered the slogan "Traditional Marriage" on Virginia license plates. Lingamfelter said passage of the proposed constitutional amendment to prohibit same-sex marriage in both the House of Delegates and the Senate accomplished his "Traditional Marriage" mission. I guess there is a limit to foolishness in Virginia. All to the good in a state that thinks that the "First Families of Virginia" were white, not Native American. But I still like the slogan amendment proposed by Damien: "Traditional Marriage -- One Boy, One Girl, One Shotgun". But maybe that's more West Virginia than Old Dominion, now that I think about it.

I support covenant marriage for the same reason I support same-sex marriage -- I believe in marriage. I believe that solid, healthy marriages are the foundation stones for stable, healthy families and that stable, healthy families are the foundation stones for stable, healthy societies.

Covenant marriage was born out of growing concern about the incredibly high rate of divorce in the Bible Belt states, which have some of the nation's highest divorce rates. Although the easy availability of divorce has increased the divorce rate nationwide, the effect has been much more pronounced in the Bible Belt.

The social and societal costs of divorce are high, and rational measures to "protect marriage" -- taking minimal steps to prepare straight couples for marriage and asking married straights to take marriage more seriously than they now do, both of which are embodied in the covenant marriage movement -- are a good thing, in my opinion.

Sidebar: Some days, I just get tired of it all. While straight
irresponsibility -- -- neglect, adultery, divorce, multiple marriages, the whole
nine yards -- ravages straight families, social conservatives are determined, it
seems, to go to any length to see how many locks can be fitted on the door to
same-sex marriage, stigmatizing and demonizing gays and lesbians as godless,
immoral, disease-ridden hedonists who want to destroy the foundations of
civilization for good measure. Anything, anything, other than to talk
about the real issues.

I saw a bumper sticker the other week that said: "Fix your own damn marriage". The covenant marriage folk are thinking about how to fix their own damn marriages, even if they can't seem to understand that same-sex marriage is not going to hinder their efforts. But at least they are talking about straight folk, for once. That's something, I guess.

As usual, though, social conservatives would like to avoid the issue as much as confront it. "We really feel the no-fault culture has been destructive," said Dennis Rainey, president of Family Life, a Christian group based in Little Rock. "There's something wrong when it's easier to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of a contract to buy a used car." Rainey might have added, had he had his wits about him, "And there's something wrong when it's easier to get into a marriage that it is to buy a used car."

In contrast to the rest of the nation, where men and women appear to be delaying first marriages well into the late twenties, kids in the Bible Belt, pressured by parents and churches, are getting married young, dumb and, uh, well ... marrying for reasons that might not be closely related to long-term stability of their marriages. I saw Pat Robertson on CBN last night, playing at being Dear Abby, counseling (in response to a "we think they are too young" letter from the parents) that two 19-year-olds should get married because 18 or 19 is the sexual peak for boys, and marriage will help keep him out of trouble. Complete with head nods and twinkley winks. I am not making this up.

The drive for covenant marriage is part of a broader movement to promote marriage and stable families. The President, for example, included $200 million in the 2005 budget for programs that "develop innovative approaches to promote healthy marriages," and to promote "family formation and healthy marriage activities."

Good for him. But a White House spokesman said the president has taken no position on covenant marriage, which he considers a state issue. Huh? Marriage is a state issue when straights are involved and a federal crisis demanding a Constitutional Amendment when it comes to gays and lesbians? Oh, well ... a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of a small ... what?

Sidebar: The National Catholic Reporter has a riff on the SpongeBob thingie. Disclaimer: I do not, ever, under any circumstances, read the National Catholic Reporter, Cardinal George, just in case you were wondering about that ... when I want to be entertained, I entertain impure thoughts.
Anyway, covenant marriage does seem to have an effect on the divorce rate. Steven Nock, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia who has been studying covenant marriage for five years, found that couples in covenant marriages are about a third less likely to divorce. This might reflect self-selection -- those who enter into covenant marriage might be more serious about marriage in the first place -- as much as it does the effects of covenant marriage itself, but it seems to me that asking couples to take marriage seriously is, on balance, more likely than not to help people take marriage seriously.

The covenant marriage movement has, in recent years, shifted its focus from legislatures to the churches, trying to recruit pastors who will conduct only covenant marriages in their churches. It makes sense to me. If religious marriages are "for life", then let the churches lead the way in the experiment.

And odd but potentially valuable offshoot of tying covenant marriage to churches might lead evangelicals and fundamentalists to understand that there is a difference between civil marriage and religious marriage, perhaps alleviating some of the fear about same-sex marriage among that group. And that, too, would be a benefit of covenant marriage.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Shymmer

A comment to yesterday's post "Maya, AvaAdore and Shymmer": "As a parent, I just can't imagine treating either my son or my daughter the way these three have been treated. It's all just so heartbreaking." - Jeff

I can't either, Jeff. And it is very heartbreaking. And common.

Yesterday, Maya Marcel-Keyes addressed a rally sponsored by the gay-rights group Equality Maryland. She said that she went public because of her rocky relationship with her parents and the recent death of her 20-year-old gay friend Shymmer.

Shymmer from AvaAdore BlogMaya contrasted her situation with that of Shymmer and many other kids who are kicked out:

"Like me, he grew up queer in a conservative household ..." but where she got hundreds of supportive e-mails, offers of a place to stay after her father and mother told her she could no longer live with the family, and a college scholarship after her father told he would not pay her education any further, "he'd been out there two years and had gotten nothing. And the worst part is, he isn't the only one."

Maya is dead right. Shymmer wasn't the rule -- most gay and lesbian kids don't get kicked out by their families, no matter how religious -- but he wasn't an isolated exception, either.

I don't think that most straights are aware how frequently gay and lesbian kids are kicked out of their families. The straight parents who dump these kids don't talk about it, the straight churches don't talk about it, and little information surfaces in the press. Gays and lesbians are more aware, although knowledge in the GBLT community is largely anecdotal. But gays and lesbians are aware enough that nobody was shocked to find a story line about a gay street hustler threading through "Queer as Folk".

The organizations that counsel young gays and lesbians are acutely aware of the problem. Aware enough, in fact, that GBLT organizations routinely counsel gay and lesbian youth to consider whether "coming out" will mean "kicked out".

It happens a lot more frequently than most people believe, according to studies in the area: 50% of lesbian and gay youth report parental rejection because of their sexual orientation, and 26% of gay and lesbian youth are forced to leave home because of conflict with family members about their sexual orientation. (National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, "Anti-Gay/Lesbian Victimization", New York 1984; Remafedi, "Male Homosexuality: The Adolescent's Perspective," Pediatrics, 79: 326-330, 1987). 42% of homeless youth identify as gay or lesbian (Victims Services/Traveler’s Aid, "Streetowork Project Study, 1991).

Some of these kids find safe havens with other relatives, like a friend's nephew, who found a home with her and her family until he was able to get a job and get a life. But others end up on the street.

The street kids face an uphill struggle to make it. According to a 1995 Family and Youth Services Bureau Report, 35% of runaway and homeless youth had used drugs; 40% live in poverty; 26% have attempted suicide; 47% were kicked out of their home; 33% were assaulted and/or robbed on the streets; 66% had trouble meeting basic needs away from home; and 80% had attempted or committed a theft-related activity. About half of the gay kids who have been kicked out and end up on the street engage in prostitution as a means of support (Savin-Williams, "Theoretical Perspectives Accounting for Adolescent Homosexuality", Health Care, 9(2):95-104, 1988).

According to The New York City Association of Homeless and Street-Involved Youth Organizations "State of the City’s Homeless Youth Report 2003":

"Many youth create their own families on the streets and often find greater acceptance through street culture than from their own biological families. However, GLBT youth are at a higher risk than their heterosexual peers on the street because of homophobia ... and prejudices (Grethel, 1997). Non-heterosexual homeless youth are at a higher risk of the dangers of the street like drug abuse, assault, and becoming involved in sex work. Sex work can be very tempting to a ... person who is looking to affirm their identity and make some money when they are meeting with discrimination on their job search. Societal homophobia creates a hostile atmosphere for youth entering shelters that are open to the general homeless population, resulting in GLBT youth often becoming victims of crime like physical and sexual assault, theft, and sexual harassment."

Most of the kids do make it, despite the odds, but some, like Shymmer, don't.

Again, from Maya's blog from June 30, 2004, just to put some flesh on:

"In the International Herald Tribune two days ago was an article about gay homeless kids. It said something anyone who knows anything about life for homeless kids will have noticed - "as many as half of all homeless youth are lesbian or gay, many of them tossed out by parents who scorn homosexuality for a variety of reasons."

"I've had three friends in the past few years who've been kicked out of their houses for no other reason whatsoever than being gay. Two of those three are dead now (one from leukemia - his parents didn't know he was sick at the time they tossed him out but even after finding out didn't want to help him; the other was murdered by a group of other street kids who left the knife they stabbed him with still sticking out of his body, pinning a sheet of paper to his chest that just said "FAG") and the third (prior to being kicked out he was a straight-A student, captain of the track team, 1500 SATs, who didn't touch drugs or cigarettes or alcohol and who was planning on staying a virgin until marriage) was raped by two men and beaten nearly to death within two weeks of being thrown onto the streets and is now a heroin-addicted prostitute who has starved himself down to about 70 lbs."

"Privileged straight people rarely ever believe you if you tell them that so many kids get kicked out for being gay. They say things like, "Well he must have been [insert bigoted stereotypical all-queers-do-this activity here; eg., having tons of promiscuous sex, going out to clubs all night, taking drugs] and that's the real reason they did it." Which is total prejudiced garbage and even if your kids were doing any of the above what on earth will it help them forcing them into an environment where they're going to end up doing much worse just to stay alive? Most sane parents would try and help their kids if they found they were promiscuous addicts, not just throw them out like so much trash."

Although gays and lesbians are more aware than straights about how serious the problem is, the matter does not get a lot of attention in the GBLT community, either, and few resources are devoted to helping these kids.

Carl Siciliano, executive director of the Ali Forney Center [http://www.aliforneycenter.org/] for homeless gay teens in New York City, said this recently: "It just doesn’t seem to be on anybody’s radar. But I feel that it’s up to us, the gay community, to help these gay kids get their lives back together."

And, oddly, the growing acceptance of gays and lesbians seems to be adding to the problem, rather than reducing it.

According to Siciliano: "In some ways these kids are the victims of the gay movement. Kids are much more emboldened to come out, but we gay adults haven’t thought through the ramifications of that: They’re coming out in a state of utter economic dependence on parents who may or may not accept them. The big gay-advocacy groups like the Human Rights Campaign and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force also need to step in. I don’t see significant change happening until they do."

The problem has gotten some attention in the press (see, for example, The Forgotten Ones: Young, Gay and Homeless, LA Times, November 9, 2001, or For Young Gays on the Streets, Survival Comes Before Pride, New York Times, June 27, 2004) over the years, but not a lot.

The problem needs more attention. Maybe the publicity surrounding Maya Marcel-Keyes and her prominent father, Alan Keyes, might help bring Shymmer and others like him closer to mainstream consciousness, both straight and gay.

I hope so.

Shymmer was, if I read Maya's and AdaAdore's blogs correctly, a lovely kid in lots of ways, the kind of kid that it is hard to imagine a parent kicking out. He graduated from high school in 2003, and had been admitted to an Ivy League college. That much I know for sure from reading Maya's blog. And if I am reading between the lines correctly, Shymmer was one of the kids Maya described in her June 30, 2004 entry ("... prior to being kicked out he was a straight-A student, captain of the track team, 1500 SATs, who didn't touch drugs or cigarettes or alcohol ...") .

Kick a kid like that out because he is gay? No way. But kicked out he was.

And then he hit the street, with predictable results. Maya:

"Any of you who deal with street kids at all will know at least somewhat what the streets can do to people - after a couple years it has certainly taken its toll on Shymm. He went from a bright cheerful kid with a potentially bright future to something of a wreck, having been beaten, raped, and otherwise abused during his time on the streets more than I like to think about. He ended up here where I am - in Chicago - on heroin and selling himself, until Shiva brought him back to DC and he cleaned up. But even off heroin and with Skyzombie's roof over his head, all the abuse is hard to get rid of, and emotionally he's just not been in a good place."

Take a good look at Shymmer's picture, from AdaAdore's blog. Can you reconcile that bright, happy kid with the abused, raped, beaten street kid who emerged toward the end? That's what the street does to homeless kids, as often as not.

Have you heard stories like Shymmer's? I have, more than I want to think about. We buried a kid in our neighborhood a few years back with Shymmer's story, and I hear bits and pieces of similar stories at a meeting I attend on Saturday nights.

As you said, Jeff: "It's all just so heartbreaking."

But thanks to press interest in Maya's story, Shymmer did not die unnoticed, as so many of these kids do. I'd like to see the GBLT press track down his story and report it with the vigor that the death of Matt Shepard has been reported.

Shymmer need not have died. But in death he need not be silenced.

Maya and AvaAdore are telling his story. Maybe, if his story becomes better known, Shymmer will reach out from the grave and touch the hearts of a few of the parents that you and I don't understand, Jeff.

I hope so.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Maya, AvaAdore and Shymmer

Sunday's Washington Post reports that Alan and Jocelyn Keyes, the parents of Maya Keyes, 19, threw her out of their house, refused to pay her college tuition and stopped speaking to her. The reason, according to the Post story, is that Maya is a lesbian and willing to be public about it.

As you will recall, Keyes, a social conservative commentator recruited by Illinois Republicans to save the party from moderation, lashed out last summer at Mary Cheney, the daughter of Vice President Cheney. Keyes told a radio interviewer that Mary Cheney was a "selfish hedonist." Then, without having been asked anything about his own family, he volunteered that "if my daughter were a lesbian, I'd look at her and say, 'That is a relationship that is based on selfish hedonism.' I would also tell my daughter that it's a sin and she needs to pray to the Lord God to help her deal with that sin."

The columnist who broke the story contacted Keye's office for comment. The response was a prepared statement: "My daughter is an adult, and she is responsible for her own actions. What she chooses to do has nothing to do with my work or political activities." End of statement.

Maya is looking for work, planning to move in with friends in Washington or a brother in Boston. She hopes to get back in touch with her mom and dad.

Maya's girlfriend, AvaAdore, 20, was also kicked out of her fundamentalist mother's home last fall.

In this Internet age, I guess that inevitable that both Maya and her girlfiend, Avadore, maintain blogs. The two blogs, read together, reveal a lot about what it is like to be a gay or lesbian kid growing up in the midst of a "Christian" home.

The following is from Maya's blog:

"My Anjuls say no, no, it was not inevitable at all and this should never have happened. They say that parents have some modicum of responsibility to their kids - at least so far as making sure they are not homeless and starving - especially if their kids have done nothing aside from thinking for themselves. They say that different political beliefs should not lead to parents kicking kids out of the house. They say most parents would be thrilled to have a child who doesn't smoke, have sex, do drugs, hardly drinks; more thrilled to have a child who additionally does well in school, is active on all sorts of extracurriculars, gets good grades, gets into the Ivy League; even more thrilled to have a child who on top of that goes regularly to church, spends free time mentoring kids and serving food to homeless people; even more thrilled to have a child to on top of that is not only politically aware but actively going out to try and fight for the causes she believes in, considering the political apathy of most teenagers. They say that if all the above didn't cause parents to be thanking God every day for the child they were blessed with, that they certainly would be after the child puts off college for a year (wait, no, for ANOTHER year, since said child already deferred one year to go teach in India) to go support her father in his work. They say that I'm a good daughter, that I changed around my whole plans just because I thought it would be nicer for my dad if after the end of working all the time on the campaign trail he could come back to someone who loves him rather than an empty house. They say that it should be a source of pride, not of shame, for my parents that I'm so passionate about my beliefs, and work for what I believe in; even if they are not the beliefs my parents hold. They say that the only possible cause for shame anywhere in the whole situation is in the fact that after all this I am being cut off, jobless, soon to be homeless, and that although I have intelligence and motivation I won't be able to go to Brown after all because I have no money."

And the following is a post from AvaAdore's blog about her family situation:

"Any of you that have read my journal for more then one week probably know that my mother is virulently anti-gay. She is scarily fundamentalist Christian - supports Bush, the Federal Marriage Amendment and believes the Bible is the complete Word of God and that every single word should be taken in the utmost literal sense. She doesn't even believe in evolution, for chrissakes...However, she does believe that being gay is a sin and that all gays are going to hell. And, she reminds me of that every, single day. And this was before you all were so kind as to plaster my relationship with another woman all over the web. I don't even want to repeat what she calls me now. I've been kicked out of my house twice in the past week (thank God for safe houses and unlocked windows) and she is now refusing to help me with anything in my life - this includes taking me to see my psychiatrist and my psychologist and helping me pay for the psychiatric medication that keeps me alive. She is also insisting I pay her back for the three semesters I spent at my Christian college because I "obviously learned nothing". The jury is still out on whether or not she will help pay for my school (I was planning on taking some courses at a local community college this upcoming semester), although, the outcome does not look very positive."

If you look at the two blogs and over the last week, you'll find yet another tragic but not atypical story, the story of a young gay man called Shymmer, 20, a Child of Christmas who died last Wednesday, April 9.

Dig a bit, and you find out that Shymmer was kicked out of his house by his parents, hit the streets, and died, when you get right down to it, of neglect.

And, as is often the case with these disgarded kids, even the funeral was a source of conflict and pain. Again, quoting from Maya's blog:

"What to do about Shymmer's parent's was a HUGE issue among us these past days. The conflict is simple - they tossed him out on the streets like so much garbage; he grew to consider DC his home and us his family; what level of involvement should they have in all this? They didn't know him the last years of his life; on every opportunity they had to change their minds and be involved with him again they rejected him, even when it was obvious that the streets were killing him; why should they be allowed now to pretend they were loving, devoted parents?"

"Ultimately though after hours of discussion we left the final decision up to Shiva - should we bother with them or not?"

"He chose yes, we should call them, we should see what they want."

"Once we made the contact, of course, we in essence gave up every right to make any decisions at all. Whatever his parents want from now on will be legally what must happen. We have the slight advantage of knowing where his body is at the moment and they don't; so theoretically if they are ridiculously obnoxious we could make it harder for them to cause trouble, but in the end they are still his family and we are not."

"At first his parents were quite surprisingly nice about everything. They were horrified and absolutely devastated - maybe if they had had a few more years they could have reconciled things with him."

"They want to take him back to Cali for the funeral. Shymmer wanted to be cremated and have his ashes scattered over the Pacific; they didn't know that was his wish, but when we told them they were readily willing to not bury him but cremate instead. We were a little upset about the service being in Cali and not here, but we weren't going to fight too much, because they said that Shiva could have his ashes and be the one to scatter them. We were thrilled that they were willing to acknowledge their relationship - we were terrified there would be a repeat of what happened with Paul; with Danny being completely excluded from all the happenings. They even offered to buy Shiva's ticket back to San Diego, and that was more than we dreamed they'd be willing to do."

'Then came their real intentions - they want to keep Shiva from the memorial service altogether. No eulogy, but they don't even want him in attendance. So they are basically allowing him to take Shymmer back to the Ocean he loved and buying his ticket as a bribe for his silence - they are ashamed their son was queer and don't want this publicly acknowledged at all."

"So now what? I suppose we don't have much choice. If we fought this out we would lose. If we try to fight they might deny Shiva his ashes altogether. Should we be happy with this?"

None of these stories are unusual. Gay and lesbian kids are frequently abused and disowned by their "Christian" families in the name of "moral values". All of them face a rough road, and many do not make it.

My heart goes out to them all.

And pray for Shymmer. May God hold him in his arms forever.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day

The GoyToy sent me a Valentine from CatholicGreetings.org:

"Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand."
-- Blessed Mother Teresa

You'll have to get up early in the morning to top that sentiment ... ain't it great to be a Catholic?

Oh my God, what am I saying?

Gay Old Valen-times with Fred and Barney

It being Valentine's Day, it is only appropriate to celebrate the marriages of Fred and Wlima and Barney and Betty. You will remember them from "The Flintstones".

Not only traditional marriages, these too fine couples, but the paragon of social conservative dreams, traditional marriages of two, uh, gay men who apparently decided to chose the "straight lifestyle".

I am not making this up. Well, not exactly. But Andy Borowitz, who made it up as a satire for MSN, did.

To save you the trouble of heading off to MSN, here's the down low:

A newly formed conservative group held a press conference in Washington to demand that television stations stop broadcasting "The Flintstones". Harland Devane, leader of the group "Focus on the Flintstones", said his organization was issuing the demand because, "Quite simply, everything about "The Flintstones" is way too gay."

Devane distributed a memo itemizing over 50 ways in which the self-styled "modern Stone Age family" series promotes homosexuality, but left little doubt that most of his concerns centered on the relationship between the two main characters, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. "Their relationship is more flagrantly homosexual than anything in Oliver Stone's "Alexander". He pointed out that Fred and Barney are virtually inseparable, are never seen wearing pants and live together in the suggestively-named town of Bedrock.

He also noted that the two men work together at a quarry wearing hard hats and construction garb, an oblique reference to the construction worker in the classic disco band "The Village People." "Do I believe they are gay icons?" Mr. Devane said. "I abba-dabba-do."

Devane added that Focus on the Flintstone's efforts will not stop at banning the cartoon series from U.S. television stations, telling reporters that the group is also "taking a close look" at Flintstone-related consumer products such as Flintstone vitamins and cereal. "We are very uncomfortable with Fruity Pebbles."

I'll bet.

Satire the MSN story may be, but the reason that the satire is funny is that it parodies exactly the kind of twisted, fear-based thinking that pervades the social conservative movement.

As Mark Morford (a very funny, edgy columnist at SFGate.com) put it: "To the vast sentient population of the planet, people like those in Focus on the Family and the American Family Association ( the other terrified little group that found SpongeBob to be sexually dangerous ) are, well, just plain sad, small, lost in a world where everything is a threat and everything wants to stab at their mealy souls and everything reeks of debauchery and demonism and copious amounts of residual Astroglide." Mark Morford, January 26, "SpongeBob, Evil Gay Heathen"

So there you have it, folks The Flintstones is the ultimate "protect marriage" show, celebrating the marriage of two gay men to two women. Just like the doctor ordered.

The whole thing is something of a snort, I guess, but I'll bet good money (not a lot of good money, but good money) that more than a few social conservatives are asking, "Should Focus on the Family give The Flintstones real scrutiny? Were we duped by the homosexuals once again, thinking all those years we were watching two mopes being jerks to the little women?"

Well, maybe so.

Sure, Fred and Barney are married and have kids. Sure, the show predates "The Village People" by about two hundred years. Sure.

But that doesn't mean that Barney and Fred aren't stealth bombers for the homosexual agenda. Not by a long shot.

Barney is featured with SpongeBob on that video Focus on the Family was complaining about a bit back. Doesn't that mean that Barney and Fred may be at least, uh, gay-friendly? And why would that be?

And -- the most telling thing of all -- the show's theme song ends with "... and we'll have a gay old time ..."

Ain't that a Fruity Pebble?

Oh, well.

Happy Valentine's Day to you all, straight and gay or lesbian alike. Many, many happy returns of the dayl.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Not Hardly

A note from a conservative Catholic correspondent who is a staunch opponent of same-sex marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships: "If the government … insists that homosexual behavior is "not" immoral, and that therefore homosexuals should be treated the same way as heterosexual couples, then you prevent me from acting with my conscience to avoid subsidizing your lifestyle (e.g., through domestic partner or marriage benefits, if I am your employer). To the extent that you impose the requirement that I subsidize an immoral lifestyle, you are imposing your morality on me. You will enforce this moral vision with fines, a loss of ability to conduct business, and perhaps even jail time."

Morality and the Law

To paraphrase Mae West, "morality has nothing to do with it."

Law does not prohibit many acts, about which a strong consensus exists concerning immorality. The legislative judgment to decriminalize immorality does not mean that the legislature has made a judgment the behavior is "not immoral", but instead acted to decriminalize the behavior for other reasons.

Consider adultery. At one time, adultery was a criminal offense in many states, and in a few it still may be, although I don't follow adultery laws. Over the years, almost all states have decriminalized adultery.

Clearly, the legislatures of the states did not come to the conclusion that adultery was "not immoral", as you put it, when decriminalizing adultery. Instead, if you read the legislative history of the various states, you'll find that adultery was decriminalized for reasons unrelated to morality – concern for the privacy of couples, concern about unfairness because the adultery laws were selectively enforced, concern about the effect of criminalization on divorce.

So, it seems to me that you have the cart well out in front of the horse when you suggest that legislative protection of gays and lesbians from workplace discrimination entails a legislative finding that homosexuality is "not immoral". I don't think it follows at all.

In an event, there is no connection between the government's judgments about the morality of homosexuality and the government's obligation to treat all citizens, straight and gay/lesbian, the moral and the immoral alike, equally.

A government could, if it wished, pass the following resolution: "The official policy of the this state is that homosexuals are immoral." Dumb, but permissible.

But such a declaration of immorality would not diminish or change the obligation of the government of the state to treat all citizens equally, straight and gay or lesbian alike.

The one and only reason that allows a state to treat gay and lesbians differently than straights is a rational, clear and compelling interest justifying the discrimination.

Illinois Human Rights Act

Having said that, let's look at the kind of law you are complaining about.

The Illinois Human Rights Act prohibits employers covered by the Act from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation, among other public employers, (2) private employers with 15 or more employees, and (3) employers that contract with the State of Illinois. The Act excludes churches and religious organizations.

The Act covers employment practices such as hiring, firing, promotion, demotion and so on, all of which must be based on factors other than sexual orientation.

The Act does not require -- expressly does not require, in fact -- any employer to provide special treatment or rights on the basis of sexual orientation, or to implement domestic partner benefits, or to implement affirmative action policies or programs on the basis of sexual orientation.

But, as you indirectly point out, the Act, and similar laws in other states, impinges on the right of an employer covered by the Act to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, and makes no distinction (except for churches and religious organizations) as to whether the basis for the discrimination is religious or otherwise. Discrimination is what is impinged, not the reasons underlying the discrimination.

So it is certainly true that if you are the owner of a company covered by the Act and want to discriminate on the basis of your religious convictions, you would not be able to do so. And, of course, following from that, the State of Illinois is forcing you to make a choice between your religious convictions and your desire to conduct a certain kind of business in the state.

But, and this is worth noting, the State of Illinois is not forcing you to act contrary to your religious convictions or forcing you to act contrary to your conscience. The state is forcing you to make a choice about which you hold more dear -- your religious convictions or your desire to conduct certain kinds of business in the state.

I understand that this -- the distinction between forcing you to choose between conducting certain kinds of business and discrimination based on your religious convictions, on the one hand, and forcing you to act contrary to your religious convictions, on the other -- is a subtle distinction.

The two are different, to be sure, but the forced choice is an impingement. The Illinois Human
Rights Act, by forcing the choice, does impinge on an employer's freedom of personal conscience, if that employer's religious convictions mandate discrimination against gays and lesbians.

The rationale behind the Illinois Human Rights Act as it applies to sexual orientation is threefold:

First, the legislature has made a finding that the common welfare of Illinois citizens is best served if all citizens have equal employment opportunities.

Second, the legislature has made a determination that the state has no rational, clear or compelling reason to exclude gays and lesbians from that finding.

Third, the legislature has made a determination that employers conducting certain types of business in the state, and only those types of business, should be regulated with respect to that finding.

Each of the three is subject, in my view, to policy debate. And the courts would agree, I think.

It may well be, for example, that the common welfare of the citizens of Illinois is not served by promoting equal employment opportunities for all citizens. It might be that the opposite is true.

Or it may be that the state of Illinois does have a rational, clear and compelling reason to permit
discrimination with respect to gays and lesbians. The state might be better off, overall, if gays and lesbians were excluded from equal employment opportunity in the state. Other states have made this determination – Virginia, for example, which has gone so far as to prohibit private companies from providing health insurance to domestic partners of gays and lesbians.

And it might well be (and I wonder myself) if the threshold for application of the Act should be different -- say 50 employees rather than 15 employees.

The threshold, I think, is based on the common sense notion that there is a point at which "private" morphs over into "public", analogous to the situation in public accommodations – the legislature believes that a man renting out the upper floor of his two-flat is "too private" to restrict his right to reject tenants for whatever reason, but recognizes that there is a point where a landlord "gets in the business", say at six units. Similar common sense reasoning seems to be employed when setting the threshold for the number of employees -- at some point, a business has become big enough so that the jobs it generates should be open to all and sundry who are qualified. I agree with that. But I don't know whether the proper threshold is 15 (Illinois), 25, 50 (federal), or 100.

The libertarian in me wants to say: "Let the free market work it out". In for most employers, that works fine, because most employers seek the most qualified employees, without regard to race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation, regardless of the religious conscience or private prejudice of the company's owners or officers. Ford and GM, for example, both affirmatively seek employees from the widest possible pool of potential employees because that is the way to get the best employees, and they know it.

But "most" doesn't mean "all", and the "few" can be significant in terms of the employment market. The largest employer in the nation -- Wal-Mart -- had a terrible record with respect to gays and lesbians until quite recently, when economic pressure finally cracked the company's resistance. Why? Because Sam Walton and his family, who control the business, are fundamentalist Christians.

So legislatures face a balancing act.

Please note, here, that I am not arguing about your religious convictions. I believe that your religious convictions concerning gays and lesbians, and the need to discriminate against them for the common good of society, are deeply held on your part. And, although I wish that it were not so, I grant that your views are fully endorsed by the Catholic Church, as evidenced by Bishop Henry's recent statement, which eloquently echoes the views you have expressed from time to time: "Since homosexuality, adultery, prostitution and pornography undermine the foundations of the family, the basis of society, then the State must use its coercive power to proscribe or curtail them in the interests of the common good."

I am not arguing with your religious conscience or the views of the Church when it comes to the perceived need to discriminate in the workplace. I don't think much of either, but I am not arguing with your right to hold those views. I am, however, arguing that the government can impinge – limit – your right to act upon your religious conscience for the common good, so long as the government does not force you to act contrary to your religious conscience.

The Pot and the Kettle

Four years ago, Eastchester became the first town in New York to grant health benefits for the domestic partners of gay employees. Recently, the Eastchester Town Board voted 3 to 2 to end them.

Anthony Colavita, a member of the Town Board who voted to repeal the benefits, said it was all about money. The town would save $6,000 out of a budget of $3 million.

I think that is bullshit, frankly.

The Town Board's action followed a bitter election campaign, in which Colavita prevailed over a Supervisor who favored the domestic benefits. Family First, a local organization that opposes same-sex benefits worked to elect Colavita, repeatedly characterizing the benefits as a threat to families. On the Sunday before the election, Eastchester Catholic parishes distributed bulletins saying that preservation of family values was the most important issue for voters in the contest for supervisor. Family First characterized those who supported the benefits as the "homosexual lobby and their fellow travelers".

Now, you figure it out. Was it money, or morality?

Eastchester is the tip of the iceberg. Social conservatives all over the country are trying to do the same thing. In Michigan, for example, The Thomas More Law Center (funded by Domino's pizza, in case the taste of the stuff isn't enough to put you off it) is engaged in a full court press to force local school boards to rescind domestic partnership benefits for employees. Similar actions are being waged throughout the country.

Frankly, while I recognize that laws like the Human Rights Act do, in fact, impinge upon morality-based discrimination, I think that in light of the concerted effort social conservatives are making to impose their morality upon the rest of us throughout the country, it is more than a bit disingenuous to whine about the fact that equal treatment of gay and lesbian citizens imposes the morality of the "homosexual lobby and their fellow travelers" upon them.

Not hardly.

The only reason that social conservatives are getting away with this kind of thing is that gays and lesbians are despised by a significant number of our citizens, and the country's social conscience has not yet caught up with that fact.

But it will.